Rasa bersalah??

Quoted dari Kellymom.com

Breastfeeding and Guilt

Written by Jack Newman, MD, FRCPC
(revised January 2000)

One of the most powerful arguments many health professionals, government agencies and formula company manufacturers make for not promoting and supporting breastfeeding is that we should "not make the mother feel guilty for not breastfeeding". Even some strong breastfeeding advocates are disarmed by this "not making mothers feel guilty" ploy.

It is, in fact, nothing more than a ploy. It is an argument that deflects attention from the lack of knowledge and understanding of too many health professionals about breastfeeding. This allows them not to feel guilty for their ignorance of how to help women overcome difficulties with breastfeeding, which could have been overcome and usually could have been prevented in the first place if mothers were not so undermined in their attempts to breastfeed. This argument also seems to allow formula companies and health professionals to pass out formula company literature and free samples of formula to pregnant women and new mothers without pangs of guilt, despite the fact that it has been well demonstrated that this literature and the free samples decrease the rate and duration of breastfeeding.

Let's look at real life. If a pregnant woman went to her physician and admitted she smoked a pack of cigarettes, is there not a strong chance that she would leave the office feeling guilty for endangering her developing baby? If she admitted to drinking a couple of beers every so often, is there not a strong chance that she would leave the office feeling guilty? If a mother admitted to sleeping in the same bed with her baby, would most physicians not make her feel guilty for this even though it is, in fact, the best thing for her and the baby? If she went to the office with her one week old baby and told the physician that she was feeding her baby homogenized milk, what would be the reaction of her physician? Most would practically collapse and have a fit. And they would have no problem at all making that mother feel guilty for feeding her baby cow's milk, and then pressuring her to feed the baby formula. (Not pressuring her to breastfeed, it should be noted, because "you wouldn't want to make a woman feel guilty for not breastfeeding".)

Why such indulgence for formula? The reason of course, is that the formula companies have succeeded so brilliantly with their advertising to convince most of the world that formula feeding is just about as good as breastfeeding, and therefore there is no need to make such a big deal about women not breastfeeding. As a vice-president of Nestle here in Toronto was quoted as saying "Obviously, advertising works". It is also a balm for the consciences of many health professionals who, themselves, did not breastfeed, or their wives did not breastfeed. "I will not make women feel guilty for not breastfeeding, because I don't want to feel guilty for my child not being breastfed".

Let's look at this a little more closely. Formula is certainly theoretically more appropriate for babies than cow's milk. But, in fact, there are no clinical studies that show that there is any difference between babies fed cow's milk and those fed formula. Not one. Breastmilk, and breastfeeding, which is not the same as breastmilk feeding, has many many more theoretical advantages over formula than formula has over cow's milk (or other animal milk). And we are just learning about many of these advantages. Almost every day there are more studies telling us about these theoretical advantages. But there is also a wealth of clinical data showing that, even in affluent societies, breastfed babies, and their mothers, incidentally, are much better off than formula fed babies. They have fewer ear infections, fewer gut infections, a lesser chance of developing juvenile diabetes and many other illnesses. The mother has a lesser chance of developing breast and ovarian cancer, and is probably protected against osteoporosis. And these are just a few examples.

So how should we approach support for breastfeeding? All pregnant women and their families need to know the risks of artificial feeding. All should be encouraged to breastfeed, and all should get the best support available for starting breastfeeding once the baby is born. Because all the good intentions in the world will not help a mother who has developed terribly sore nipples because of the baby's poor latch at the breast. Or a mother who has been told, almost always inappropriately, that she must stop breastfeeding because of some medication or illness in her or her baby. Or a mother whose supply has not built up properly because she was given wrong information. Make no mistake about itﾗhealth professionals' advice is often the single most significant reason for mothers' failing at breastfeeding! Not the only one, and other factors are important, but health professionals often have influence and authority far beyond their knowledge and experience.

If mothers get the information about the risks of formula feeding and decide to formula feed, they will have made an informed decision. This information must not come from the formula companies themselves, as it often does. Their pamphlets give some advantages of breastfeeding and then go on to imply that their formula is almost, well, between us, actually, just as good. If mothers get the best help possible with breastfeeding, and find breastfeeding is not for them, they will get no grief from me. It is important to know that a woman can easily switch from breastfeeding to bottle feeding. In the first days or weeksﾗno big problem. But the same is not true for switching from bottle feeding to breastfeeding. It is often very difficult or impossible, though not always.

Finally, who does feel guilty about breastfeeding? Not the women who make an informed choice to bottle feed. It is the woman who wanted to breastfeed, who tried, but was unable to breastfeed who feels guilty. In order to prevent women feeling guilty about not breastfeeding what is required is not avoiding promotion of breastfeeding, but promotion of breastfeeding coupled with good, knowledgeable and skillful support. This is not happening in most North American or European societies.

Berat bayi tidak bertambah!!

Saya percaya ramai ibu-ibu yang menyusukan bayi mereka sepenuhnya yang menghadapi masalah bayi mereka tidak membesar atau menambah berat badan sebagaimana graf tumbesaran yang sepatutnya dan seterusnya menerima kritikan seperti

(1) Anak ko tak cukup susu ni...
(2) Susu ko takde khasiat agaknya..

Ini akan memberikan tekanan kepada ibu tersebut lebih-lebih lagi sekiranya ibu tidak mempunyai persediaan yang lengkap untuk menghadapi kritikan dan pengetahuan secukupnya tentang penyusuan susu ibu. Akhirnya mereka akan berputus asa dan mula memberikan susu formula kepada bayi secara berperingkat. Perlu diketahui bahawa dengan memberikan susu formula kepada bayi ibu akan menyebabkan pengurangan dalam penghasilan susu ibu kerana penghasilan susu ibu adalah berdasarkan kepada konsep supply and demand.

Mengenalpasti punca kurangnya pertambahan berat bayi

- Adakah bayi menyusu dengan kerap? Berapa kerapkah anda perlu menukar lampin bayi. Ini akan menentukan sama ada bayi mendapat susu/nutrisi yang cukup atau tidak. Sesetengah bayi yang menyusu dengan susu ibu secara exclusive mungkin tidak berak setiap hari, tetapi mereka akan kencing dengan kerap sekiranya mendapat susu yang cukup.
- Adakah ibu yang menetapkan masa bila bayi sepatutnya bertukar dari menyusu sebelah kanan payudara ke sebelah kiri?
- Adakah pelekapan bayi betul dan mendapat susu setiap kali menghisap susu dengan anda?
- Adakah bayi anda sakit


Bagaimana cara untuk memastikan bayi menambah berat badan
(1) Bagi bayi yang berumur kurang dari 6 bulan, kurangkan atau hentikan pengambilan makanan separa pejal kerana susu ibu adalah sumber nutrisi yang lengkap bagi bayi yang berumur 6 bulan ke bawah. Dengan memberikan makanan tambahan kepada bayi, bayi tersebut akan berasa kenyang dan menyebabkannya kurang menyusu
(2) Tidur bersama bayi sedikit sebanyak dapat menambah kekerapan penyusuan dan menambah rembesan prolaktin yang dapat memperbanyakkan susu ibu
(3) Susukan bayi setiap 2 jam sekali. Pastikan anda membiarkan bayi membuat keputusan untuk berhenti dari menyusu kerana sekiranya bayi tidak mendapat kedua-dua jenis susu ia boleh menyebabkan bayi tidak mendapat nutrisi yang secukupnya setiap kali ia menyusu. (susu pada peringkat awal lebih cair, dan peringkat akhir lebih pekat dan kaya dengan nutrisi)
(4) Kaedah mengurut dapat membantu sistem pencernaan bayi seterusnya membantu menambah berat badan bayi
(5) Urut payudara ketika mengepam atau menyusukan bayi. Ini akan membantu pengaliran susu yang lebih lancar dan membantu pertambahan berat bayi.

Ada sesetengah pendapat menyarankan agar ibu-ibu yang memerah susu mengumpulkan lapisan lemak yang terkumpul di bahagian atas susu dan dicampurkan ke dalam satu bekas. Ini adalah untuk memastikan bayi mendapat lebih kalori dalam sekali penyusuan. Bagaimana pun saya sendiri belum pernah mencubanya. Mungkin ada ibu-ibu yang telah mencubanya boleh berkongsi pengalaman ;)

FAQ - Menyusu sewaktu mengandung dan tandem nursing

Antara persoalan yang perlu diketahui

Isu kesihatan
- Adakah selamat menyusukan sewaktu mengandung?
- Adakah selamat menggunakan pam sewaktu mengandung?
- Adakah kuman lebih cepat tersebar kepada kedua-dua bayi yang disusukan sewaktu tandem nursing?

Nutrisi
- Nutrisi bagi ibu
- Adakah menyusu sewaktu mengandung akan memberi kesan kepada bayi di dalam kandungan?

Susu ibu
- Bagaimana perubahan susu ibu sewaktu mengandung dan sewaktu tandem nursing?

Ketidakselesaan dan perkara yang perlu diberi perhatian oleh ibu mengandung
- Tips bagi membuat keputusan sama ada hendak meneruskan penyusuan atau menghentikan penyusuan apabila mengandung dan tandem nursing
- Adakah meneruskan penyusuan sewaktu mengandung menyebabkan bayi akan berhenti menyusu sebelum sampai waktunya?
- Apa yang akan berlaku sekiranya saya ingin menceraikan susu?
- Masalah penyusuan ketika mengandung
- Bagaimana penyusuan akan memberi kesan kepada rasa mual (morning sickness) ketika mengandung?
- Menyusukan bayi sewaktu melahirkan anak

Tandem Nursing
- Adakah saya akan menyukai tandem nursing? Adakah berbaloi untuk saya tandem nursing kedua-dua anak saya?
- Puting pedih dan bengkak susu selepas melahirkan anak
- Adakah bayi yang baru dilahirkan perlu disusukan terlebih dahulu setiap kali?
- Apakah posisi terbaik ketika tandem nursing?
- Bagaimanakah tandem nursing akan memberi kesan kepada hubungan kedua anak saya (sibling rivalry)?
- Bagaimana menjawab kritikan mengenai tandem nursing?

Sukarnya menyusukan di tempat awam/terbuka

Ramai ibu-ibu muda berasa malu dan segan untuk menyusukan bayi mereka di tempat-tempat awam contohnya di shopping complex ketika membeli belah mahu pun di kedai-kedai makan. Selain dari takut aurat mereka terbuka ketika proses penyusuan, ada juga yang berasa malu dengan pandangan masyarakat terhadap mereka sekiranya mereka menyusukan secara terbuka. Oleh itu, ramai yang merasakan aktiviti mereka akan terhalang atau tergendala kerana penyusuan.

Sebenarnya menyusukan bayi di tempat awam tiada masalah sekiranya tahu caranya. Beberapa tips berguna bagi yang ingin menyusukan di tempat awam.

(1) Susukan bayi sepanjang perjalanan menuju ke destinasi.

(2) Bagi bayi berumur 6 bulan ke atas yang telah memulakan makanan separa pejal, pastikan mereka makan sebelum keluar ke tempat yang di tuju. Bawa bekalan makanan seperti biskut dan air, berikan kepada mereka sekiranya mereka berasa lapar ketika masih di tempat awam.

(3) Sekiranya hendak bershopping cuba cari pusat membeli belah yang menyediakan bilik khas untuk menyusukan bayi. Seperti Sunway Pyramid, Jusco dan sebagainya.

(4) Jika tiada bilik khas untuk menyusukan bayi, gunakan selendang atau nursing cover. Bagi yang bertudung, gunakan tudung untuk melindungi aurat dari terdedah. Sekiranya tidak yakin, berlatih di depan cermin untuk memastikan aurat tidak terdedah ketika menyusukan bayi.

(5) Pakai pakaian yang sesuai. Tidak semestinya memakai baju khas untuk menyusukan, hanya pastikan anda memakai pakaian yang agak longgar agar mudah untuk selak menyelak ketika hendak menyusukan bayi.

(6) Sekiranya keadaan memaksa untuk menyusukan di tempat awam, tenangkan hati dan jangan berasa malu atau segan. Ingatkan diri bahawa anda sedang menunaikan tanggungjawab kepada bayi anda. Tiada apa yang perlu dimalukan.

Adakah haram penyusuan selepas 2 tahun

Setakat pembacaan dan kefahaman saya penyusuan susu ibu adalah sangat dituntut sehingga umur bayi 2 tahun menurut Al-Quran. Melainkan sekiranya si ibu tidak mampu meneruskan penyusuan atas sebab-sebab tertentu yang tidak dapat lagi dielakkan maka setelah mendapat persetujuan dari suaminya (bapa kepada bayi) maka, diharuskan untuk dihentikan. Bagaimana pun, suaminya (bapa kepada bayi) tersebut hendaklah mencari seorang ibu susuan bagi bayi tersebut bagi menyusukan bayi itu sehingga cukup umurnya 2 tahun untuk menyempurnakan tanggungjawabnya kepada bayi tersebut. Bagaimana pun, zaman sekarang ni amat sukar hendak mencari ibu susuan, maka ramai antara kita yang memilih susu formula.

Berbalik kepada persoalan sama ada haram atau tidak meneruskan penyusuan selepas 2 tahun, jawapannya adalah tidak sama sekali. Hukumnya adalah diharuskan.

Jawapan selanjutnya yang dipetik dari Islam Web - Fatwa center - Ruling on Breastfeeding

Q : At what age (beyond two years) would breast-feeding become a Haram act?

A : Breast-feeding the baby is obligatory as long as it can not do without it. The scholars are not agreed over this issue. In the Malikite school of Fiqh, scholars believe that it is mandatory on the mother to breast-feed her baby as long as she is the wife of the father of the child. But if she was divorced a Bain divorce (divorced three times) she is not obliged to breast-feed him and also, if she is a noble woman who does not habitually breast-feed her children like women in her status. In both cases the woman is not obliged to breast-feed her child unless he does not accept the breast of other women.

The majority of the scholars believe that it is not compulsory on the mother to breast-feed her baby regardless of her being married or divorced except when the baby refuses to suck other woman or the husband can not hire a woman to breast feed his baby. Their evidence is the following verse: Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): "But if you make difficulties for one another, then some other woman may give suck for him (the father of the child)."[65:6] And this verse Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): "The mothers shall give suck to their children"[2:233]

The scholars claim that the meaning here does not reach obligation, it is only likable that the mothers breast-feed their babies because their milk is more suitable and they feel more compassion and love towards their own babies than other women. From this, we conclude that the suckling of the baby is an obligation on his father just like all his other expenditures.

Selain dari itu, saya juga menemui jawapan bagi persoalan kewajipan menyusukan bayi bagi seorang ibu dari laman web tersebut

Q : Is it sinful not to breastfeed your child, because someone told me that in the day of judgement there is a snake that will bite the breast of the mother who did not breast feed her child.

A : Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {The mothers shall give suck to their children …} [2: 233].
The Mufassirs (interpreters of the Qur'an) are of the opinion that though the phrasing of this verse is in the form of statement it denotes imperative meaning.
The Muslim scholars have various opinions concerning this order, whether is it an obligatory act or a desirable act. There are three opinions concerning this matter.
A) The order of breast-feeding is only for desirability.
B) It is an obligation if the marriage contract continues.
C) It is an obligation on women to breast feed their children whether the marriage contract continues or not.
The second opinion is the most correct. Therefore, a mother should carryout the job of breastfeeding if there is no legal excuse, such as sickness or not having the milk, etc.
Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {… Then if they give suck to the children for you, give them their due payment, and let each of you accept the advice of the other in a just way. …} [65: 6].
This verse deals with the matter of a divorced woman and proves that breast-feeding is not compulsory for her. Also, it is compulsory for a divorced woman to suckle her baby if he/she does not accept any other woman or when the father is missing. It is stated in 'Kashaf al-Qana'. 'If there is no other woman who can suckle a baby or he/she does not accept other than his/her mother in this case, it is obligatory on her to suckle her baby because protecting a living being is a very important obligation' .

As per our knowledge, there is no basis for the Hadith mentioned in the question that a snake would bite the breast of a mother who does not suckle her baby.
Allah knows best.

Ini bermakna, tiada hadith sahih yang membuktikan bahawa sekiranya seorang wanita itu tidak menyusukan anaknya maka diakhirat kelak dia akan dihukum dengan hukuman yang berat (ular menggigit kedua belah payudaranya) Bagaimana pun, sekiranya tiada alasan yang kukuh untuk tidak menyusukan anaknya, maka wanita itu hendaklah menyusukan anaknya. Sekiranya tidak mempunyai ilmu yang cukup, carilah ilmu itu supaya dapat menunaikan tanggungjawab tersebut. Sesungguhnya Allah itu Maha Mengetahui.

Doa amalan bagi ibu yang menyusukan anak

"Ya ALLAH...permudahkanlah segala urusan kehidupanku, banyakkanlah susuku untuk bayiku, dan permudahkanlah perjalananku untuk menyusukan anakku agar menuruti segala yang telah Engkau syariatkan...AMIN..."

Surah al-Hujurat & al-Kautsar juga baik diamalkan bermula sejak mengandung lagi ...Niatkan dalam hati semoga ALLAH swt murahkan rezeki kite, anak kite dan banyakkan susu kite.Bagaimana pun jangan kita lupa juga bahawa rezeki itu semuanya datang dari Allah.Sebaiknya dibaca dan difahamkan juga tafsiran ayatnya.

Selain dari itu amalkan surah al-Baqarah ayat 60. Sambil dibaca letakkan tangan pada breast, and doa dalam hati semoga Allah murahkan rezeki anak kita dan supaya kita mampu memberikan susu yg cukup pd anak kita hingga sekurang-kurangnye umurnya 2 tahun...

Dan (ingatlah) ketika Nabi Musa memohon supaya diberi air untuk kaumnya, maka Kami berfirman: "Pukullah batu itu dengan tongkatmu", (ia pun memukulnya), lalu terpancutlah dari batu itu dua belas mata air sesungguhnya tiap-tiap satu puak (di antara mereka) telah mengetahui tempat minumnya masing-masing. (Dan Kami berfirman): "Makanlah dan minumlah kamu dari rezeki Allah itu, dan janganlah kamu merebakkan bencana kerosakan di muka bumi".
Lagi satu, amalkanlah berzikir dgn kalimah YA MATIN (Maha Sempurna KekuatanNya) 70 kali setiap hari. Waktu yg paling bagus adalah pada waktu malam dan subuh. Anda juga boleh bacakan zikir tersebut dan hembuskan ke dalam segelas air lalu diminum. Yakinlah.InsyaALLAH susu badan kita akan bertambah jika kite istiqamah dgn amalan yg tersebut di atas....

Sumber rujukan : Kisah Hidupku

Memalukan sungguh!!

Adalah memalukan sekiranya kita sebagai seorang muslim yang sepatutnya tahu betapa besarnya fadhilat menyusukan anak yang dah sembilan bulan kita kandungi, tak bersungguh-sungguh dalam menjayakan penyusuan susu ibu. Sedangkan orang yang bukan Islam pun berusaha bersungguh-sungguh menyusukan bayi mereka kerana mereka sedar ada 1001 kebaikan kalau mereka menyusukan bayi mereka.

Kita boleh bagi 1001 alasan sekiranya gagal untuk menyusukan bayi kita. Hakikatnya kita yang lebih tahu sama ada kita benar-benar telah berusaha untuk menjayakannya atau sekadar melepaskan batuk di tangga. Tepuk dada tanya hati.

Renungi lah berita ini -

A Unique Challenge To Breastfeeding

After the great response from our recent Health and Wellness segment on breastfeeding, I wanted to share my family's story on the challenges with nursing.

That my wife would breastfeed our second son, Willem, was a no-brainer. Leslie nursed our son Benjamin for his first 14 months and except for a rough couple early days, it came very naturally.

In the delivery room at 10 in the morning, just a few minutes after Will was born, Leslie put him to her breast, but this groggy little kid wouldn't latch on. Oh well. The nurses said he was tired and this was normal. After a half an hour she tried again. No latch. With a beautiful calm focus, Leslie tried again and again. Twelve hours later the nurses came and took the baby away for the night.

Bright and early the next morning they were at it again with no success. Nurses, the midwives, the lactation consultant all gave tips but nothing would work. About this time they were noticing other odd things about my son -- Will was "floppy," low muscle tone, had a funny cry, didn't blink when tapped on the forehead. By the next day the staff looks of concern had turned to pity. We were told before leaving for home, there was something "not normal" about my son.

Willem, Leslie and Benjamin Wuebben

Leslie was pumping and using the Haberman feeder- a special bottle for babies with feeding problems. He would eat but still couldn't suck. We saw specialists, therapists, neurologists, chiropractors and no one knew why he was unresponsive. It was possible, we were told, he could "snap out of it." Or he might not.

My wife never gave up trying to nurse him and for weeks she would put him to the breast before resorting to the feeder.

Around this time we discovered online a rare disorder that might fit Willem's symptoms- low muscle tone, inability to blink, suck, move the muscles of his face. It's called Moebius Syndrome. The article was titled "Kids Born without a Smile." I had hoped for that "snap" moment when he would become a normal baby and here I was reading about my son's future with a lifelong disability. Then I read further and saw a golden lining: most kids with Moebius have normal brain function and normal life expectancy.

Finally we knew something. He couldn't suck because he couldn't move the muscles of his face. He didn't react because his muscles were weak and he couldn't blink.

And then the miracles started to happen. One day, my wife went to nurse him and he sucked. She held his little lips together and he managed to get something. He could do it. As long as he could have something to latch onto deep in his mouth he could use his swallow response to pull the milk out. As those muscles grew stronger we started to see tiny twitches in his cheeks. The few muscles he had in his face were starting to work.

Willem continued to nurse well after his first birthday without the use of feeders and other aids. Though late, he continued to hit milestones. At 15 months he started to talk. At 30 months he walked. He learned to drink through a straw (no small feat for someone who can't close his lips).

I was mostly a bystander to all this. I got to watch the incredible power of a mother's love for her baby. Leslie was determined to give Willem the same early childhood experience that came so easy to his older brother and millions of other children. I hope her story inspires other mothers who face difficulties nursing.

Willem turns five this summer and he'll start kindergarten in the fall. He still receives a full regimen of therapies to work on his muscle tone and speech, but he's a happy, healthy, funny little boy. And I've discovered that the doctor at the hospital was right, my son is not normal, he's extraordinary.

Petikan dari CBSNews